They Really Should Require a License for Parenting

Since my husband, Jeff, started a new job this week, with a different schedule, we decided to change our daycare dropoff/pickup routine. And by change, I mean that instead of having me drop off and pickup The Kid, he now gets to drop him off and I only have to pick him up in the evening. I marketed this new plan as "Hey, since you'll be working into the evening, now you can spend more time with him in the morning," instead of "Woo-hoo! Now your sleep-deprived, pregnant wifey gets to enjoy an extra 45 minutes of blissful slumber!"

So yesterday, I kissed both boys goodbye and headed off to work. I let Jeff take my car, since it has four-wheel drive and a car seat. We in fact have three cars right now - two of which have car seats. Guess which of the three cars I chose to take to work?

I left work, promptly at 5, and headed off to "Grandma Linda's" to pick The Kid up from daycare. It wasn't until I had chased him down the hall, tackled him, and put on his dreaded coat, that I realized I had no car seat. I sheepishly explained the situation to Linda, aplogized, drove across town, and warmed up the car left in my driveway - the one with an actual car seat in it. I went back across town, performed the half-Nelson coat manuever again, thanked Linda, and wrestled The Kid into his car seat. It was now 6:15. I immediately thought to myself "It's a good thing Jeff has to work late. I will never have to tell him how many times I had to drive across town today just to get The Kid home for dinner." Much like how I never had to tell him about the time I ran out of gas on the way to daycare while he was out of town two months ago.

At 6:20, however, I get a text letting me know that he got off work early, and he's on his way out the door! "Yay!" I texted back as I pressed down a little harder on the gas pedal. At about 6:30, I got a phone call. "Um, I left the lights on this morning, and I need you to come help me jump start the car." Uh-huh. So, I headed over to the parking lot he was waiting in, got there at about 6:45, and realized that I forgot to grab jumper cables. At this point, I've ordered Chinese delivery, called back to ask if they can just drop it off at my door, and then begged them to push back the delivery time. I drove back to Jeff's car, helped him get it started, and drove home. It was now 7:30. The Kid was finally able to get out of that infernal car seat. Dinner arrived at 7:45.

A few lessons were learned here:

1. One car per driver. Less confusion.
2. Daycare providers do not get paid nearly enough.
3. People that deliver food to your house really prefer that you be on their schedule, not the other way around.
4. They really should require a license for parenting.